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Update:

If you haven’t figured out by now, this blog is an early April Fools joke! Happy April Fools! đź¤Łđź¤ˇ

You should know us better than that, legends!

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Sometimes it’s frustrating when you see others getting the results you are aiming for. We’ve all felt it, right? It could be that you are not genetically gifted. Perhaps your lifestyle doesn’t allow you to dedicate the same number of hours that Gym Bros and Bunnies spend in the gym. If hard work and supplements just aren’t cutting it for you anymore, VPA has your back. We are releasing two products to help you achieve the results you crave. Introducing VPA Injectables: Your solution for getting huge.

For the ladies: Peachfillr.

This isn’t the 90s anymore. Gone are the days of wanting be skinny with a nice flat butt you could slide into your sagging jeans. In those days, being asked “Is your butt getting bigger?” was an insult, but today, that’s a question ladies long to be asked. Top tip guys: when your female friend asks if her clothes make her butt look big, the correct answer is, “Yes, absolutely, your butt is huge”.

Sadly, a large, rounded and lifted butt can be difficult to achieve in the gym. For ladies that don’t have the hours to dedicate to squats, glute kickbacks, and the ubiquitous hip thrusts on which the  Glute Guy built his entire career, we have the solution for you.

Introducing Peachfillr:  A vegetable oil-based product that will increase the size of your glutes without you needing to break into a sweat. Peachfillr. will fill, lift and raise your butt giving you that rounded full look you are seeking.

Female Peachfillr

Female Peachfillr

For the men: Instagains

Guys, its your lucky day! Instagains is the secret to large calves and biceps without needing to do numerous curls for the girls or calf raises.  It is a vegetable oil-based product that can give you immediate results. Instagains will help you become freakishly large and disproportionate if that’s the look you’re seeking. It can also make you go from skinny and frail to “that guy must lift” over night. The results below speak for themselves.

Instagains

Instagains

 How do these products work? 

Injected into the body, VPA injectables can make you look disproportionately larger and grace you with fake looking muscles.  While our injectables can make you look bigger, it won’t make you strong because it isn’t real muscle. Injectables for those that want to look strong, but remain weak. One of the advantages of injectables is that you don’t have to lift heavy weights to see results. This means you can avoid all beneficial compound lifts such as squats, deadlifts, or benchpress. If you’re not a fan of  isolation accessory lifts you can skip those as well. This will free up your time to the gym to hang out on Instagram, instead of training productively.

While injecting oil into your body can have some some serious side effects, those dedicated to truly altering their appearance the easy way are generally happy to overlook these for appearance sake.

So forget the hard work, forget good nutrition. VPA injectables: your solution for getting huge. Sign up to be notified  as soon as this product hits the market.

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Sally Mitchell (BSc, MHumNut) is a university qualified nutritionist and VPA staff member. Her favourite VPA product is coffee Breakfast Shake. She enjoys powerlifting and running, and does both poorly.

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